I was curious to see how the Mario Kart games stack up. Unsurprisingly, all of the games (excluding the original) scored 80 or greater (out of 100). But I was surprised to see how they were ranked among each other. The list is as follows:

1. Mario Kart Super Circuit (93)
2. Mario Kart DS (91)
3. Mario Kart Double Dash (87)
4. Mario Kart 64 (83)
5. Mario Kart Wii (82)

Remember, these scores come from multiple sources, and as anyone who is familiar with statistics knows, it only takes one score to screw up the whole average, but from my experience, I don’t see how these ranking can be right. Here are my thoughts:

Mario Kart DS blew compared to the others. It’s a good game and I am glad I played it, but the tracks weren’t particularly difficult, Rainbow Road specifically. I literally blew through this game in two weeks. Not challenging in the least. I would call it the worst of the series.

MK64 and MK Super Circuit has the same major flaw when racing in grand prix mode: they claimed you were racing 7 other players, but only 3 of them would score in the top 4 of each race. Both are good games, but have a limited scope of game play. As far as difficulty, each of these have one or two tracks that are particularly hard at 150cc or Mirror modes. According to metacritic, I agree with the Mario Kart 64 score, but could place Super Circuit lower, around an 85.

Now, my favorite games, Double Dash and Wii. Double Dash has an interesting gameplay element and strategy for selecting characters. Not only that, one of the best features of all of the games: All tracks mode. I wish there was an all games mode where you could race all tracks from all games. Over all, a smooth game that is challenging and fun.

And then Wii. Almost perfect. A new element with bikes, dozens of unlockable aspects, and some really fun new tracks. Literally, months of gameplay is provided by this game. I would rank this slightly below Double Dash because of overall enjoyment.

So, I must ask, how are my judgements so off here? Am I the only one with this opinion? Is it possible these scores are related to release date (newer games lose flavor after several sequals), game availability (handhelds cost less and games cost less, thus more are available to the public) or are these games REALLY that good?

Anyway, here is a link to the review that gave Mario Kart Wii the lowest score of 42 out of 100. Read it and tell me if it isn’t entirely convoluted.

http://www.gamechronicles.com/reviews/wii/mariokart/mariokart.htm

Since I live in America, at this moment, the only way I would be able to own this game is to purchase a Super Nintendo (which would obviously be used) and a copy of Super Mario Kart for the system (also used).  If I were to purchase these via ebay, they would cost a minimum of $50.  $50 that Nintendo won’t see a dime for since they have gotten all they can out of that system.

Now, when I heard about the Virtual Console idea, I thought, “GENIUS!  I could own EVERY game Nintendo ever made (except Gameboy games, but I think they should do that anyway) and play them all on this ONE console.  But Nintendo is lacking several staples from their library from this list, namely Super Mario Kart.

I see no GOOD reason for Nintendo not to release this on Virtual Console.  Super Mario Kart was the #3 top selling SNES game.  It would seem to me that it would be quite successful in the new format.  Also, it has already been made for the Virtual Console in Japan.  The transfer to US consoles shouldn’t be extremely hard.

Bottom line is that somewhere down the line, I will own this game, and chances are, I will wait until it is EVENTUALLY put on Vitural Console.  But there is a chance I will spend $50+ to get the SNES and the old cartridge of Super Mario Kart.  $50, as mentioned before, that Nintendo won’t get, but could see at least $10 of it if this were released on VC.

40 races
39 1st place finishes (1 second)
10 gold cups
12 stars (some doubles), 1 A rating

Also, fun note, I had a blue shell chasing me in a 50cc cup, and I actually out ran it. I went for about 10 seconds without slowing down at all, so it gave up!

Nothing really important, but I felt I would share my achievement.

The Rant:

If there is one thing that I loathe in video games, one thing that I cannot stand, one thing that sends me into controller wrenching rage, it’s arbitrary rating systems. Having a rating system is bad enough. HONESTLY, if I wanted a computer to tell me I suck at video games, I’d write program to insult me while I played.

The rating system in Mario Kart Wii (and DS) is absolutely worthless. All me to reiterate: the RATING SYSTEM is ABSOLUTELY WORTHLESS.

Let me explain.

First off, the rating system is a cross between a letter grading system and a star rating system. You can get an E, D, C, B, A, ☆, ☆☆ or ☆☆☆ rating. E is bad, it means you are a terrible person and probably don’t have any friends. It also means you need to play more Mario Kart or go back to collecting those pet rocks you find in your driveway. ☆☆☆ Is the best rating you can get. It means that you are either an arrogant hack, who doesn’t have any friends or a nerdy gamer who has playing nothing but Mario Kart for 5 years straight and as a result doesn’t have any friends. (Please send your complaints to complaints@blueshellmagnet.com)

Having one rating system is bad enough, having two is downright ridiculous. How am I suppose to know that a star is better than an A? How do I know when the star ratings stop? Most star ratings go to five stars! ( ☆☆☆☆☆ ) Why does this one go to three?

Secondly, a rating system is designed to judge and compare things. When I am awarded an A, I don’t have a clue as to what I am being compared to. I won all the races in first place, I finished a full lap in front of the computer players, (*cough* 50cc) I blocked a huge number of items, etc… Maybe I feel I did awesome on this set of races. I felt really good about it and everything went well. Yet, my rating is lower than last time I played, even though I thought I did awful back then.

Even more annoying than Nintendo’s mutated rating system is the lack of documentation that supports it. I could live with the brain-dead judgement system that some disgruntled underpaid misanthrope developed in the bowels of Nintendo headquarters, (complaints@blueshellmagnet.com) had they just provided instructions with it.

Example Instructions:

Finishing in each place gives you points. The three racers with the most points at the end of the cup will receive a trophy. Your driving will also be graded. Try to get the highest rating you can! (We want to encourage you to do a good job in this game, because we know you are an under achieving slob who always tries to lose at games and don’t understand the concept of being the best!) To get a three star rating (the best rating, because five stars was too much after we added in all those obnoxious letters), just do the following during the length of the cup:

__ Get first in all races
__ Hit 10 opponents with red shells
__ Be hit with 327 Blueshells
__ Spend 5 minutes doing drift turns around corners
__ Throw the blasted Wii-Mote through your television screen
__ Shove a screwdriver into your left eyeball
__ Draft behind one opponent
__ Pull of 3 tricks while going off jumps

But instead Nintendo sends us out with these instructions:

Actual Instructions from Page 12 of the game manual:

You earn points based on your placement in a race. After you complete all four courses, your points are added together to determine your overall ranking. Gold, silver, and bronze trophies are awarded for first, second, and third place overall. Your driving technique will also be ranked.

Screenshot of the manual, page 12.

Mario Kart is a game about control. Most of the game is out of the control of the player. I can’t control when a computer uses a lightning bolt, throws a blueshell, barrels into me from behind with a star and throws me off the course. The gall of Nintendo to offer to rate me on my performance, which is not entirely under my control, and then not even tell me the requirements for the rating is so amazingly stupid I can’t even come up with a decent anecdote for it! They might as well rank me on the performance of the person in second. Or the time of day I play. Or the weather outside. I don’t know, maybe they do.

No, I’m not bitter at all.

Okay, that’s enough ranting.

The Info You Are Looking For: How to get a 3 Star Rating in Mario Kart Wii

This is not easy. This is so not easy. I have yet to get a three star rating in Mario Kart Wii. I also have yet to find anyone who is capable of explaining the rules to me.

Tough to Find has a series of posts which offer a series of marginally helpful tips ‘Tips from Marv.’ You can find his articles here: Part 1, Part 2, Part 3, Part 4.

But I’ll post his main points here for your convenience. (His site offers a paragraph or two of description and explanation for each tip.)

1. practise [sic]
2. choose a character and vehicle and stick with it
3. bikes are better
4. turbo after spin out
5. what counts as a 3 star race? …no-one exactly knows!
6. give up on the wheel
7. learn from others
8. trailing items to defeat red shells
9. turbo at start and on corners
10. go manual
11. use tricks
12. turbo when you fall off
13. Avoiding POW blocks
14. you can sometimes avoid a blue shell
15. hang back slightly on the first course
16. use drafting
17. stay on the main part of the track
18. be lucky! Or patient…

Many of his points are just simple rules to play by, others a speculative suggestions. Overall I didn’t find it terribly helpful, as I did most of those things anyway.

Potentially more helpful was a video I found on YouTube called “How to get 3 stars: Mario Kart Wii” where PhyRemind posted information in the video discription:

All information is factual based and in no way speculated.

50cc: Stay on the course at all times and dont hit walls or edges.(so you cant use mushrooms to do a jump/shortcut by going off course.) Falls allowed: 2 Go ahead and get hit by all the items you want, it wont make a difference.

100c: Wheelies and Tricks. Going off course is okay. 2 Falls allowed

150c: Tricks, item block, take out others with items. 2 Falls allowed

Mirror: Just do all you can do (tricks, items**, dodging.)
2 Falls allowed. (Though its kinda over when you fall just one time)

General Info for all Engine Levels: Dodging a blue shell with a mushroom will give you bonus points in getting a 3 star ranking. Not getting hit a lot in 100cc 150cc Mirror will give you higher chance of 3 stars. You must get 60 points for a 3 star rank. (No, Really?)
**Drift Boosts are always fun to do**

I found this information also to be lacking. Following his advice I was unable to get three stars in 50cc, although, some commenters claimed that it helped them.

Yahoo Answers, interestingly enough, has been rather helpful on the whole issue.

Tim asks this:

How do you earn 3 stars on Mario Kart Wii?
I’m playing through the tracks on Mario Kart Wii. Sometimes when I come first all the time and get 60 points I get one star. Sometimes, (although more rare) I get 2. I’ve read on the Internet you can get 3. How is this determined? We seem to have misplaced the manual so I can’t look it up!

I think the discussion that follows offers some good insights into how things seem to work. Matt A says:

You can get killed, not spend the whole time in first, and still get 3 stars. There seems to be an algorithm at work here. I think that it is based on some of the following criteria:

Time spent in first place
Opponents that you hit
Number of times you were hit (fewer is better)
Items dodged (probably includes running a clean race and trying not to fall off ledges or run off the road)
Total seconds that you win by
Tricks performed during the races

If you can max out these criteria, you are certainly in a good position to reach the 3 stars. Good luck!

And of course suggerdaddy wins the clueless answer of the week award:

go on and keep trying.because i am about to get it and when i get the manual i will tell u right away

(complaints@blueshellmagnet.com)

A three star rating implies that it’s a ‘perfect’ match. I would guess that’s a misnomer. For reasons mentioned in my rant, if Nintendo required perfection most certainly the computer players would mess everything up every time.

I think the main criteria is track time. I’m guessing there are other criteria, but time has to be pretty strongly counted. If you can pull of an amazing time in grand prix mode, that means you are driving *really* well and are not getting hit by many items. Getting hit by items really slows you down.

I’m sure there are little things like wheelies, tricks and turn boosts that are taken into account as well, but those things really just boil down to a faster time.

If you came to me today and said “I *need* to get three stars on everything. How Can I do it?” I would have to say, unlock and beat the expert staff ghost on every track. Then go and play grand prix mode until your eyes bleed.

As for me, I’ll be content when I can get one star on every cup and unlock the blasted karts and karacters. (Characters. Sorry, Donkey Kong slip of the fingers.)

If you know something I don’t, please post it here. As I find out more, I’ll update things as well.

I have been told that this concept is rather annoying to people who play on the internet with Mario Kart Wii. I’ve been “snaking” ever since Mario Kart Double Dash, when I learned to use drifting at every possible moment. With two people in the kart it was even easier.

Now, I understand the frustration that people have when you play against someone that seems to be untouchable. It’s more than annoying when you are so far behind that you don’t stand a chance to catch up.

I think what most people forget is ’snaking’ is hard. The drifting technique was designed to help power-slide around corners. To use this maneuver on a straight path takes time and effort to practice. I mean, if it was easy everyone would do it, right?

I’ve heard people argue on whether ’snaking’ should be allowed or not. Whether it’s ethical or not. I don’t think that’s the issue that needs to be discussed. The fact is, r-turns are built into the game to help characters boost. It’s specifically designed to help on corners, but it turns out to be more versatile than that.

I think the problem is that people who either don’t ’snake’ or don’t know how to ’snake’ are racing against people who do.

Don’t forget, Mario Kart is racing game. The goal of a racing game is to go as fast as you can at all times. If you can go faster by ’snaking’, then by all means, do it!

I think if you argue against ’snaking’, then you also have to argue against wheelies. The only difference is that wheelies are a piece of cake to pull off. Wheelies make you drive faster (though, I have no idea why…), but only bikes can get wheelies. So anyone on a bike automatically gets an advantage over someone in a kart right?

What do you think? Is my argument fair? How would you solve this ‘problem’?

Some people are annoyed that other people are watching their screen, but often two experienced players will be able to counter act each other because they are both watching the other persons screen. (I do this with my friends all the time.)

Turns out screen peeking is (or at least *was*) endorsed by Nintendo as both a legitimate strategy and a key for winning.

Super Mario Kart Manual, page 17, gives tips for playing Battle Mode with a friend.

Look at the color of the barriers on your opponents screen to determine where they are.

and

Always keep an eye on your opponent’s screen.

The Mario Kart 64 manual has more to say on the matter.

Players have their own screen to watch, but to make the most strategic use of their items, players should check the other players’ screens and pay attention to their opponents’ movements. (p12)

Before using a Thunder Bolt, check to make sure what the other players are doing. (p13)

To be fair though Nintendo does begin to soften their approach to screen peeking two pages later. Rather than telling players to watch their opponents screens they are told to watch the radar.

Be aware of the other players’ positions. Check the course radar constantly, making not of your position in relation to your opponents. (p15)

Watching other people’s screens is not mentioned in any of the other manuals. However, the Mario Kart Super Circuit manual does indicate that it is important to keep an eye on the other racers.

Racers who have become invulnerable after using a Star aren’t affected by lightning, so watch what’s going on before unleashing your bolt from the blue. (p21)

I find it interesting that a GameBoy Advance game would mention this, as typically the player would only play against computers.

Perhaps what is even more confusing is the fact that the Mario Kart Double Dash manual has no mention of screen peeking. One would think that with two players to one kart, the player in back would have plenty of “down time” or “strategic planning time” since they don’t have to worry about where the car is headed. Once freed from driving a second player would be able to watch all the other screens easily, offering a competitive advantage to his team.

I am curious to know if other games offer similar advice in their manuals. I wonder if this type of advice would be limited to a brand name (ie Nintendo Manuals) or if they are found in a certain genre of games (ie racing games) or if I could find advice like that in, say, a first person shooter. If anyone knows something about this, let me know.

Do you screen peek? What do you think?